


you show me where i'm going right now

by chasingjupiter



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Childhood Friends, Friends With Benefits, Lee Jihoon | Woozi-centric, M/M, Minor 2ji, Pining, Weddings, all my fav tropes in one fic basically, nonlinear stuff going on, tiny day6 cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:41:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25473295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingjupiter/pseuds/chasingjupiter
Summary: The obvious thing to say is right there in front of his face. Soonyoung had practically set it up perfectly--all he has to do is hold out his hand and say, “Well, dance with me and we’ll find out.”What a charming thought. Jihoon could dance with the man he’s loved for the past few years, sneak in an adoring gaze, cup his waist and act offended when Soonyoung points out how clumsily he dances, even when it’s a simple slow dance. Soonyoung would declare this suit The One, just danceable enough to have the wedding of his life with the love of his life, Yoon Jeonghan. Not so charming anymore.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, minor soonhan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	you show me where i'm going right now

“Soonyoung, are you saying yes to this dress?”

Jihoon’s voice is flat. Bored. All the same, he had complied with Soonyoung’s pleading.

“I am.” In contrast, Soonyoung’s voice is bubbly. Excited. It’s completely like him to ask Jihoon to set up a  _ Say Yes to the Dress _ -esque suit fitting. Instead of having grand visions of white lace, however, Soonyoung’s main criterion is danceability.

“I want it to be flexible and light,” he had told Jihoon. Why, Jihoon doesn’t know. He’s not Soonyoung’s wedding planner or anything; he doesn’t have an ounce of knowledge on weddings or suits. He’s Soonyoung’s best man, sure. But he’s pretty sure attending multiple suit fittings, negotiating with tailors, and acting as a  _ Say Yes to the Dress  _ host was not part of the job description.

Soonyoung twirls once and nearly falls over. “It feels good now,” he says thoughtfully, eyeing himself in the floor-length mirror. “But what if it doesn’t feel good while I’m dancing?”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. The obvious thing to say is right there in front of his face. Soonyoung had practically set it up perfectly--all he has to do is hold out his hand and say, “Well, dance with me and we’ll find out.”

What a charming thought. He could dance with the man he’s loved for the past few years, sneak in an adoring gaze, cup his waist and act offended when Soonyoung points out how clumsily he dances, even when it’s a simple slow dance. Soonyoung would declare this suit The One, just danceable enough to have the wedding of his life with the love of his life, Yoon Jeonghan. Not so charming anymore.

Instead of holding out his hand to Soonyoung, he gets a hand shoved right before his face. “Come on, help me out,” Soonyoung urges, wiggling his fingers. “I won’t make fun of you this time, I promise.”

“Promises mean nothing to you,” Jihoon scoffs, but he takes Soonyoung’s hand and stands up, letting himself be led to right before the immense mirror, where suits are not draped over every surface. 

Soonyoung hums a waltz, placing Jihoon’s hands appropriately around his waist and on his shoulder. They fall in position easily, naturally, and Soonyoung leads them, their steps careful and small, just how Jihoon feels. The beats are agonizingly slow. One; Soonyoung leans down to meet Jihoon’s eyes and smiles exuberantly. Two; Soonyoung lifts his eyebrows in a challenge, making to twirl Jihoon, a feat he is purely terrified of. Three; as Jihoon spins, he catches sight of their figures in the mirror, the mismatch of their outfits striking, the ease of his fearful grin terrible. Back to One.

Jihoon pulls himself away. Soonyoung stops humming. “If your suit can’t handle a little slow dancing, it would be a pitiful suit,” Jihoon says scornfully. “Shouldn’t you be doing something, I don’t know, more energetic?”

“Oh, right.” Jihoon sits back down on the pouf he’d been perched on, watching Soonyoung dance smoothly by himself. He’s a natural, really. Dancing flows in his bones still, nearly fifteen years after he’d given it up. Soonyoung stops dancing and looks at the mirror, fixing on the image of Jihoon. “You know, the last time we danced together like that must have been…”

“In high school,” Jihoon supplies. “It was in high school.”

“Right!” He laughs, suddenly recalling something. “Wonwoo was a total dancing machine back then.”

=

Wonwoo was a total dancing machine.

He was generally acknowledged as the most handsome in their year, Jihoon knew. Still, it was a testament to his self-confidence that he could dance like that and not be embarrassed. It was something about the lankiness of his limbs, characteristic of high school boys, or perhaps his long bangs parted to one side. Maybe he was going all out this year because it wasn’t just the last dance of the year. It was the last dance, period. There would be no more school dance committee nagging at them to tuck their shirts in, no filing into the gymnasium and standing awkwardly by the wall.

Jihoon didn’t consider it much of a loss, but he figured he might as well have some fun if anything. Soonyoung had offered to give him a ride since he didn’t have his own license yet, and he had accepted, knowing full well that it would either be one hundred percent awkward or one hundred percent fun.

(It was the former.)

He shouldn’t have agreed, in hindsight. Standing with a full foot between them, he and Soonyoung were not looking at each other. Jihoon had thought maybe Soonyoung’s crush on him would make it weird. It was no longer a matter of maybe. It was really, completely weird.

Okay, so maybe deeming it a crush was too much. Soonyoung didn’t have a crush on Jihoon; that would be a total disaster. It would be more fitting to call it some strange chemistry they shared. Jihoon didn’t like Soonyoung that way (he was pretty sure, anyway) and Soonyoung most likely didn’t like Jihoon that way, but they knew each other well and had gotten quite close over the past two years. Especially last year, when Jihoon would eagerly accept Soonyoung’s invitations to study at his house. Last year, he had a massive crush on Soonyoung’s not-brother.

Joshua was an exchange student who was staying with Soonyoung’s family. He was a senior and very cool, with his dyed hair and multiple ear piercings. Jihoon had a particular yearning to fiddle with Joshua’s helix piercing. He always had a little silver looped around the curve of his ear, and it was achingly pretty. So sue him.

Whenever Joshua left, the crush would fade away and he and Soonyoung would remain friends. Still, Joshua paid visits every holiday, and Soonyoung would act all tense for a week. Then it would go back to normal.

Their senior year, though, Jihoon and Soonyoung spent most of their time together. Studying, working, talking. Their friends said they had a good dynamic; their classmates said they looked good together. Their teachers complimented their good relationship. Jihoon thought they were good together, too, but not in the way their friends suspected.

Maybe he should have kept all of this in mind when Soonyoung pushed himself off the gymnasium wall and extended a hand towards him, asking him to dance with him. He had brushed it off as a simple “bro” thing, something just to pass the time with. To show up Wonwoo, Soonyoung had joked. So Jihoon placed his hand in Soonyoung’s and he was whisked away to the middle of the floor, their dance awkward and restrained but simultaneously precious. They were good friends, after all.

That was what he told himself as Soonyoung led him in circles. They swept across the floor liberally, Jihoon absorbing the strange blue lighting as a turquoise memory, Soonyoung’s sweaty hands on him burning holes into his dress shirt. It was a matter of good friends, he kept telling himself, until he heard the song flickering away and Soonyoung letting go of his waist and grabbing his hands instead. “Jihoon,” he breathed, and Jihoon lifted an eyebrow in response, and Soonyoung leaned in to kiss him.

Jihoon tore himself away, mind chanting “good friends,” and he pretended not to notice Soonyoung’s eyes clouding with confusion and hurt. He fled, excusing himself, and the next time he saw Soonyoung they didn’t mention it.

It was awkward for the rest of the year, all up to graduation, and they spoke only once over the summer. It was a pitiful excuse of a conversation in which Jihoon asked about his plans for the summer, and Soonyoung, embarrassed, replied tersely with “Basically nothing.” Stewing in mutual humiliation, they silently agreed to never speak again.

=

“Well, I think this is the one,” Soonyoung proclaims, sliding the suit back on its hanger. It’s a soft, pale blue. His mother had scolded him for wearing such childish colors while he’s nearing thirty, but Jihoon had defended him, saying that he was about as mature as someone in their teenage years and that it was a fitting color for Soonyoung.

“It does suit you,” Jihoon admits. “Pun not intended. Sorry.”

Soonyoung laughs anyway. “I like puns,” he says cheerily. “Don’t apologize for your jokes, intentional or not. I think you’re funny.”

“Thanks,” Jihoon says, sounding choked. “I try.”

Jihoon wouldn’t call himself a drinker. In fact, he avoids alcohol religiously. It was something he was grateful for at times like these. He gets to witness, and actually remember, all of the dumb shit they do.

Take now, for example. It’s Soonyoung and Jeonghan’s joint bachelor party. The couple takes shots boldly; Soonyoung is drunk after three. He’s making absurd toasts: “To Jeonghan’s left nipple! To everyone’s fortune cookie luck! To good album photocard pulls! God, Taemin, I love you!”

Jihoon is drinking coke. The bubbles burn his throat and teeth, and when Soonyoung turns on him and urges him to propose a toast, as his best man, he nearly spits it out. “I don’t know,” he says, but it’s drowned out by the sound of their friends’ raucous cheering and Soonyoung’s own slurred pleading.

“Alright, then,” he concedes, knowing no one hears his weak-willed protests. He raises his voice and his glass of coke and proclaims, staring straight at Soonyoung, “To your good health, good friends, and great sex life!”

Everyone reacts wildly, but Jihoon doubts they really heard him. And even if they did, he doubts they understood. He meets Soonyoung’s eyes. He’s drunk out of his mind.

= 

Soonyoung was not drunk out of his mind.

He was only a little drunk--moderately drunk, if you will. He could name where he was and who he was with and how he got there, so he would say that he’s not out of his mind drunk yet. He was at a friend’s party only five minutes from his campus; he had arrived with Wonwoo and lost him promptly in the crowd, but now he was sidled up against the wall, chatting--making eyes at--Lee Jihoon, whom he hadn’t seen for two years; he and Wonwoo had walked over so they would probably get a taxi, or, judging by the way he and Jihoon were getting along, walk home in the morning.

Jihoon flirted blatantly. “You've changed,” he said slyly, a hand on his arm, lightly feeling the muscle under Soonyoung’s shirt.

“That I have,” he agreed, eyeing Jihoon’s bitten-raw lips with unfiltered desire. “Started working out, growing up.” Even with several drinks under his belt, he felt grounded. It was odd to meet Jihoon so suddenly in this setting but frankly he had hoped in the very bottom of his heart that he would someday see Jihoon again. He wanted to apologize, to make amends, to change things. He hadn't expected this.

Jihoon stared up at Soonyoung's smokily lined eyes, admiring the tasteful additions of glitter along the corners. “I didn't know that growing up meant getting hot,” he said.

Hearing Jihoon talk seductively to him like this was never on his bucket list, but Soonyoung took it in stride and played along, terribly taken with this Jihoon. “Seems like you've done the same,” he returned, Jihoon licking his bottom lip and Soonyoung tensing up.

They talked with the direction of a lost drunkard. One moment they were chatting about their friends, the next flirting heavily, and the next making silly faces at each other. They proposed toasts with each refilled cup, Soonyoung blurting out whatever came to mind and Jihoon stringing together trite toasts into one. “To your good health, your good friends,” he said, looking around the room and landing back on Soonyoung with a wink, “And a great sex life.” 

It happened in a blur, cliché as it sounded. They kept flirting, had a few more drinks and toasts in between, ended up at Jihoon’s apartment. Despite having taken the charge while flirting, Jihoon requested to bottom, and this was something Soonyoung blessed as he thrusted into Jihoon that night. 

“You know,” Jihoon said in between unintelligible groans, “I used to have the biggest crush on Joshua.”

Soonyoung growled. “I knew,” he hissed out, pounding even harder, fucking Jihoon into the mattress like how he had begged.

  
  


It hadn't ended with one night of fun. The one coincidental party turned into a few hookups now and then, and after that it became a regular thing. Meet up after a stressful class and screw around to vent. They tried new things and all things, turning their past into something entirely novel. They commemorated their friendship by fucking on the wall, Jihoon’s mattress, the shower… anywhere they could get it on. So basically everywhere.

It was good. They were good friends even when not going at each other. They went out to study sometimes and, despite not attending the same school, helped each other out when they could. Jihoon saved Soonyoung’s ass in organic chemistry; Soonyoung saved Jihoon’s ass in statistics.

Jihoon tried not to think about it too much but sometimes it was inevitable. His friends commented on how he would get lunch with Soonyoung and head back to make out, not even have sex, before Soonyoung went home. They acted like they were in a loving, albeit casual, relationship. For Christmas, they had given each other gifts and visited each other's families for the sake of it. It was as if that two-year-long silence never happened. Almost nothing changed.

Almost. Jihoon figured out the change several months in, on the way to see Soonyoung. He looked forward to their meetings. He missed Soonyoung in between their frequent meet-ups and wanted to hear his laugh before going to sleep. He wanted to hold his hand as they got coffee, to stroke Soonyoung’s hair as he passed out after a long, intense round.

He wanted to date Soonyoung, for real. He liked him. He wanted to share his life with Soonyoung and vice versa. And even worse, he wanted to tell him.

He had been contemplating it for a few weeks when Soonyoung asked him to come over. It was evening. Jihoon had looked forward to seeing him all day.

“Hello,” Soonyoung said nervously when he let him in. It was an immediate warning sign--Soonyoung never said “hello.” He always said some playful variant. Or straight-up flirted with Jihoon on sight.

“Hello to you too,” Jihoon said, shooting him a weird look. “What's up?”

“Oh, nothing,” he answered quickly, nervously. “Wait, um, actually there’s something. Maybe we should sit down? Here, have this chair.”

Jihoon took a seat and fixed Soonyoung with a questioning gaze. He usually didn’t have to pry for what was wrong; Soonyoung naturally spilled everything he felt. He was an open book most of the time and it was one of the aspects that made their relationship so easy. Jihoon didn’t have to reach out of his comfort zone and Soonyoung didn’t have to suppress his true self. They worked well together.

As expected, Soonyoung cracked a few moments into their shared silence. “So we’ve always been casual, right,” he started, not meeting Jihoon’s eyes. “Like this arrangement. It’s not, um, exclusive?”

“Don’t tell me you have an STD,” Jihoon said threateningly, (mostly) joking.

“No, no, of course not,” Soonyoung dismissed readily, which somewhat soothed Jihoon’s concern. 

“Then what is it?”

He bit his lip. “I… was asked out? On a date? And I want to go, like really. That’s… That’s okay, right?”

Oh. So that was it.

That was  _ it.  _ That was it for them, Jihoon could tell, just by the way Soonyoung looked so nervous and anticipating that date. He wanted to tell Soonyoung to not go on that date. To go on a date with him, instead. They could be good together. They had built so much; they had so much to build. Giving it all up now…

It was the right thing to do. 

“Right, that’s okay, of course.” He paused, and in that instance of vacillation, he gave in to his selfish curiosity. “So who’s the date?”

Soonyoung blushed, fingers fiddling with a rip in his jeans. “Jeonghan,” he confided. “He was really sweet, too… I mean, it’s hard not to be attracted to him, and he was just so,” he sighed, “Charming.”

“I see,” Jihoon said, feeling irrationally betrayed by the third-year student. They weren’t exactly friends but they were familiar with each other and knowing exactly how charming Jeonghan was did not help to appease his frustration. “Well, have fun on your date, and, uh, see you around.” He stood up to leave.

“Wait!” Soonyoung interjected, reaching for his hand. “We’ll still be friends, right? Even though we’re not…”

“Yeah,” Jihoon said. “For sure. No hard feelings.”

Soonyoung let him leave, Jihoon smiling weakly all the way out until he disappeared from Soonyoung’s vision. Then he scowled at the ground. No hard feelings were true. All he felt was soft, a terrible frailness eating up his bones. Soft reducing his brain to mush. Soft reducing his will to resignation.

=

Jihoon, staying with his coke, watches Soonyoung sidle up to Jeonghan and press a hard, sloppy kiss to his jaw. Jeonghan smiles upon sighting Soonyoung, placing down his drink to give him a tight hug. Jihoon can see his lips moving, murmuring into Soonyoung’s hair, and Soonyoung burying his face in Jeonghan’s neck.

The night passes with Jihoon making sure everyone gets home safely, even personally driving the couple back to their apartment once everyone’s caught a taxi. By the time they get to their doorstep, Jeonghan’s considerably sobered up and he thanks Jihoon, pithy but fixed with a meaningful look that Jihoon can’t decipher. “I’ll take Soonyoung from here,” he says, wrapping an arm around his fiancé to support his weight.

“Okay,” Jihoon says, backing away from the curb. “See you.”

Jeonghan nods and watches him get into his car, finally turning away once Jihoon starts the engine. The older waves politely turn, helping Soonyoung up the stairs. Jihoon thinks, hard, all the way home.

  
  


He shows up three hours before the first guests are due to arrive.

He has to speak with the musicians and help set up. Jeonghan’s best man, Joshua, is in charge of decorations and the guest list, but Jihoon has the other duties. He’s never been a best man before, so he hopes everything goes smoothly. Not just for his sake, but also Soonyoung’s. (And Jeonghan’s, he supposes.)

Speaking to the band, it seems like one of their members is yet to arrive. Their leader, Sungjin, had assured him that he would be there soon, but Jihoon keeps a watchful eye on them anyway. He can feel a headache coming on.

An hour before the doors open officially, a tall man with big, sparkly eyes hurries in, and Jihoon whirls on him. “You’re late,” he accuses.

“I know, I know,” the man says sadly. “Wait, where is everyone?”

“They’re set up in that corner,” Jihoon points out. “I have things to do. You do your thing.” With that settled, he strides briskly away, in search of Soonyoung.

Soonyoung is upstairs, sitting idly in the room Jihoon had rented for him. When he walks in, Soonyoung lifts his head eagerly, then lowers it again, disappointed. “When can I see Jeonghan,” he whines.

“When you get married,” Jihoon tells him, unamused. “Get dressed, Joshua has to do your hair. You don’t have much time now.”

“But I wanna see Jeonghan,” Soonyoung pouts. “My fiancé. My almost-husband.” He stands up, letting Jihoon hand him his light blue suit and starting to pull his shirt off. “Isn’t that weird? I’m gonna have a  _ husband _ ,” he says absently as he dresses. “Jihoon, when are you going to get married? I’ll be your best man, right? I’ll be the best best man.”

“I’m not even dating anyone right now,” Jihoon says.

“Hurry up, then,” he groans. “Please find someone to love you and make you smile so I can be your best man! I’ll even set you up.”

“With who? We’re literally friends with the same people.”

“I’ll find someone,” Soonyoung vows. 

Jihoon helps Soonyoung put on the suit jacket and stands back to make sure nothing’s out of place. “Whatever,” he says. “I’m leaving now. Don’t do anything stupid and sit still when Joshua does your hair.”

Soonyoung beams. “Thank you, Jihoon. For everything. I love you, okay?” And he sweeps Jihoon up into a hug so suddenly that his eyes close from the impact. He keeps them shut as Soonyoung exerts apparently all of his energy into hugging Jihoon, simultaneously relishing and hating this feeling. When Soonyoung lets him down, he feels boneless and soft, hobbling out of the room muttering “I love you too.”

To everyone’s relief, everything goes well. Jihoon doesn’t lose the rings. Jeonghan doesn’t ditch Soonyoung at the altar--Jihoon didn’t ever think he would, but you never know--and the speeches are all appropriately sarcastic. His own speech makes him a little embarrassed but no one suspects a thing. He had quipped about Soonyoung as lightly as possible and stuck in as many cheesy sentiments as possible. It was probably his only chance to say it all without arousing suspicion.

During the reception, Jeonghan approaches him, looking radiant in his pastel pink suit and offering a flute of champagne. Jihoon takes it out of courtesy but doesn’t drink from it, something he is sure Jeonghan notices.

“Nice speech,” Jeonghan says.

“Thanks,” Jihoon says. He stands awkwardly, feeling snared in some kind of trap. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Jeonghan says. He looks around. They’re mostly secluded from the rest of the guests. “I could tell you meant it, in your speech. The last part.”

Jihoon thinks back to his speech. He had written it while going through his flash drive of photos and was terribly emotional. “I love you more than you know, even though I don’t say it often,” he had said, in front of all those people. “I only wish you happiness, and I know you will be happy from now on. Jeonghan, please take care of this dumbass.” He feels hot all over just thinking of it.

Jeonghan sighs. “You really do love him,” he says, staring at Jihoon with an intensity that throws him off. “I mean, I get it. You don’t have to say it. It’s obvious.”

Does he? Jihoon doesn’t know what to say.  _ I’m sorry for being in love with your husband. I’m sorry for loving your husband for the past five years. _

“It’s okay.” Jeonghan shakes his head. “I know you aren’t like that, Jihoon. I respect you. I don’t know what I would have done in your position.”

“I-”

“I’m not bringing this up to make you uncomfortable or anything. I really do respect you. I just wanted to tell you… I’ll take care of him. He means a lot to you. He also means a lot to me. I will never let anything harm him.”

It’s a bold declaration, but somehow Jihoon truly believes him. He thinks Jeonghan’s love is different from his: it burns in his eyes, right on the surface, so close that Jihoon is frightened of its fuel. Jeonghan has been nothing but kind, thoughtful, and fiercely protective to Soonyoung for the past few years. Jihoon doesn’t doubt him.

“I know,” he says. “I trust you.”

They awkwardly shake hands after a brief, stiff moment of silence. Then Jeonghan nearly falls over from a ball of energy ramming into his side. Soonyoung wraps his arms around Jeonghan’s torso, kissing his cheek. “What’d I miss?” he inquires brightly, looking from his husband to his best friend happily.

“Nothing,” they both say quickly.

“Okay,” Soonyoung shrugs. “Well, just so you know, I heard all of that, but I don’t really get what you were saying so I will patiently await an explanation at some point. Have you guys tried the pastries? They’re unbelievably good. Shall I go get you some?”

He blinks. “No, I’ll go get some myself,” Jihoon says. “Excuse me.”

He brushes past Jeonghan and makes for the dessert table, seeing a familiar tall man peering enthusiastically at the pastries. He seems to be evaluating the tarts against the cupcakes, but very up close.

“Shouldn’t you be making music right now?” Jihoon asks as he nears the table.

The man straightens up. “Oh, it’s you,” he realizes. “Yeah, about that… I am not one of your musicians. I just got here early, apparently. I seriously thought it started like two hours earlier.”

Jihoon looks over to the band. The drummer is cheerfully tapping away at his drums and making eyes at one of the guitarists. He looks back to the stranger. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I was in such a panic I didn’t even notice.”

“No worries,” he says lightly. “I’m Jun, by the way. Joshua’s my cousin. You’re the best man, right?”

“One of them, yes,” Jihoon answers. He picks up a tart. “Is this any good?”

Jun nods profusely. “Quite good,” he assures Jihoon. “I like this one, I think it’s blueberry. Say, to make up for mistaking me for the drummer, could I get your phone number?”

Jihoon coughs, a few crumbs of the tart flying into the air. “I’m so sorry,” he croaks, reaching for a napkin and cleaning up the crumbs. “Could you repeat that?”

“Can I have your phone number?”

He thinks as he chews and swallows, Jun’s twinkling eyes seriously affecting his thought process. He’s not over Soonyoung. It might not be morally upright to go out with Jun without being ready to pursue a relationship. He doesn’t even really know Jun, like at all. “Sure, why not,” he concludes, pulling out his phone. “For your information, I’m not looking for something all that committed right now.”

“Perfect,” Jun says, snapping his fingers. “I’ll text you.”

**Author's Note:**

> title from day6's finale
> 
> essentially i started writing this based on the first scene and then i just shoved as many of my favorite tropes and ships in as possible. i love soonhan and 2ji so so much if anyone wants recs let me know :-)  
> also yeah i made dowoon late for the wedding and fyi he's making eyes at young k because of That Clip from sweet chaos. i also adore briwoon (i have wips for them but i doubt they'll ever be finished)  
> thanks for reading <3 i hope it was as enjoyable to read as it was to write!! 
> 
> twitter (main, not writing): kaozumes


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